AD's Fiftieth

This may be out of sequence as I can,t remember how old Lone is. However in the true spirit of C.U.S. press on and damn the details.
AD was a bargain hunter and could be seen roaming the local supermarkets late PM Fridays looking for the out of sale by date bargains. He also like cooking, Bristol Rovers and pigeon shooting (This can't be true AD couldn't kill anything!) Never the less on the morning of his fiftieth he was collected in the C.U.S. mobile by Lone, Biggars, Garth and Lil ( Can't remember her real name but she lived in Patchway) Lil was wearing a full length evening gown and looking radiant. Garth was in evening dress and wearing a spoon on his nose (He often did this when he was happy!) Biggars was also in a dress suit, which if the truth be known was too tight for him as it was bought to fit him and his two sons at Macro for forty quid.
We all drove to the Castle where we had a full English in the most English of settings. AD had a croissant with Happy Birthday written in icing on it.
From the Castle we drove to Safeway where AD was greeted by the manager in the foyer and presented with a bottle of wine, as a token of his loyalty to the store.
Somehow later we found ourselves on the banks of the River Severn with enough firepower to invade Duckhole. Apparently this arsenal was owned by Crocket who sold fish and cheese in The Anchor Bar. (He sold Biggars a crab one night when Biggars was very drunk and when Morning Mary came to take him home, he proudly showed her his purchase. "You cant eat that" she said, "Its still alive". "Yes but" Biggars replied" Crocket said, "You just drop it on a pan of boiling water and that's it!" "Are you going to do it?" said Morning Mary looking long at him. Biggars got out of the car and released £6.00 of crustation back in to the Severn.)
Anyway Crockett had supplied these guns so that AD could have a go at clay pigeon shooting. We did this for half an hour then with very sore shoulders and ringing ears returned to the Anchor bar. Here Dosser, (Mike Dowdswell the landlord of the Anchor what had a sister in Crossroads what had her bags done) sent AD to the kitchen where AD cooked our lunch. Can't remember what is was other than it wasn't pigeon!
Then we drove over to the Bath pitch and put course for a short game of golf calling in at Bristol Rovers training ground where was presented with Rovers memorabilia by ? There was an incident when Lone had aconfronation with a milk float but Lone was always having confrontations with milk floats, perhaps his mother was frightened by one when she was carrying him. We do know that Lone got his lines down his face because his mother continued to breast feed through the school railings.
On return to Thornbury, CUS had a sauna at the Sports Centre then all trouped down the high street in our dressing gowns to Castle Street where AD had a full body massage.He refused to turn over, so Lone says.
Hi birthday ended at a party somewhere and CUS got drunk.I dont actually remember this but thats what normally happened.